babysitting a vizard
by ofgreennekomimis
Summary: Ichigo, being turned into a two/three-year-old child with chubby rosy cheeks right after the fight with Ulquiorra, what challenges will he face? Do note Grimmy’s potty mouth and some obsessive squishing. could be K , but just to be safe. No pairings.
1. Chapter 1

Began April 18, finished April 19 2010 (PS: mistakes caught, and corrected at March 1, 2012 – still might missed some)

Disclaimer: do not own bleach, if I do there will be cross-dressings… *cue evil laugh

A/N: First fanfiction EVAH! Probably sucks, so, please forgive me…R&R?

Hmm, not sure how to rate this. Err… general? Dunno. Still very new at this.

Warning: Non-yaoi (unfortunately). Attempt at humor… ATTEMPT! Maybe some others as well.

Summary: Ichigo, being turned into a two/very-small-three-year-old child right after the fight with Ulquiorra, what challenges will he face? … GAAAHH… bad at summaries! No particular parings. Just Ichigo and most of the whole Bleach casts.

Do note Grimmy's potty mouth and some obsessive squishing from chapters to come.

* * *

Babysitting a Vizard

Chapter 1

His limbs were regenerating. Quickly. Although, he must not waste any more time. As Aizen-sama's order go, he must protect Las Noches. At all cause. He must protect this castle. The castle made by his creator. The person whom he vowed to follow.

He got up. After the currently-hollow-shinigami. It seemed… he… it? had forgotten his friends. This is definitely… not Ichigo. He saw him. Attacking the spectacle guy… spectacle guy… his name… … err…

forget it. Trash.

As he walked up to the shinigami… hollow… he began thinking, the only way to stop it… is the mask. He must cracked open the black and white striped mask. He pounced, and punctured, with his spear-to-knife little blade, and backed up. He saw the girl. And promptly ignored her. Obviously, she seemed to be thinking it was her fault, her friend, the spectacle guy, was attacked. She kept crying. Well, it's over now. The shinigami should be dead.

Suddenly, there was a gash of reiatsu. He turned. Narrowed his eyes. Apparently, the girl and the Quincy had been blown away by the reiatsu. They seemed surprisingly fine at the far corner.

The black heavy atmosphere; similar to his own 'despair' blocking the view of the supposedly, should-already-be-dead shinigami. Then, suddenly, there was a deep red burst – highly similar looking to the mushroom shape smoke the trash's bomb made – coming from the shinigami.

And a blow of a deeper blue-white reiatsu cleared the heavy atmosphere. Everything seemed to be blown off from the spot the shinigami laid.

After the wind stop, he opened his eyes, – he didn't even noticed he had them closed, probably the debris of reiatsu was getting into his eyes – and what he saw… no… what he didn't saw, was the body laying there. What he saw was…

He stepped nearer the lump. His feet were regenerating quickly but his organs weren't. He had to see. He had to see before he turned to ashes. He quickly made his way through the debris of reiatsu and came closer.

No.

_It can't be._

As he stepped forward to investigate, a certain orange translucent shield blocked his path. It was the girl. She looked up to him in the far corner and prepared to steadied herself up, while her Quincy friend only stayed there and stared. He seemed surprised and mildly amused. Amused? What could possibly be amusing?

Ulquiorra looked at her, currently stopping in his tracks. She came nearer. She seemed determined. Her brown hair slightly covering her eyes. She came closer.

"Kuro… saki-kun… Kurosaki-kun is… fine," she seemed disbelieving of what she had said, "You need to be healed. You're hurt," he couldn't see where this was going. Why was she saying this? Wasn't it, he, who had hurt her nakama?

"What are y-…" he swallowed his words. For the first time. The first time? He hadn't realized that before.

She apparently had started healing him. It was warm. His ramblings before, of what a heart is, began to rise once again. He was confused. He actually felt thankful, was it? He felt warm… his meagre life as a hollow, had been nothing but pure coldness. He honestly felt… somewhat… happy? That someone came to heal his broken body. He also felt rather… guilty. He felt… he felt? Wait… He had actually feel about something? He remembered now, feelings… the human heart… … is this… what a heart is?

"Wo-" he was beginning to call her, to seek conformation, when suddenly, some ruffling noises were heard. She had gotten up to where Ichigo was. And seemed pretty delighted by what she saw. From this far – not that far. Approximately ten to fifteen feet nearing the vizard – he could see her kneeling down, beside the vizard. Her body hiding what was to be seen in front of her. She really does seem delighted. The figure of the shinigami seemed to have been distorted in size. What happened…? It couldn't be… could it? It couldn't possib–

"Awwww! So cute!"

* * *

Stepping into the garganta, feeling worry and uneasy for the first time. He had no idea of what to do. He assumed asking his Lord would be his only given choice. After all, he had protected Las Noches. And currently now, everyone must have lost the will to fight after hearing the news from Orihime and the Quincy, either that, or they just couldn't stop laughing their annoying heads off like that manic scientist. He himself, had to admit, that this is oddly funny. As he walked through, he can't help but retracing his memories of what had just happen.

After being healed by Orihime, he proceeded towards the… 'cute' Kurosaki as said by Orihime. He can't help being annoyed by that comment. What's 'cute' about the guy? As he walked forward, he stopped in his tracks at what he saw. He still couldn't get the comment out his head… cute.

There, laid asleep in front of him, was a little, very little, Kurosaki. He had no idea why, but he is definitely… cute. He cursed at that. Now, in his normal arrancar form, he knelt down beside the 'cute' Kurosaki. Cute… hmm… he groaned. He assumed this must be a result from the sudden loss of too much reiatsu that his spiritual body needed to 'shrink' itself to preserve the life it harbours (A/N: I presumed he didn't know Nel).

He hovered above the being. Obviously, his clothes no longer suited for his tiny body. Yes, tiny. He had to assume he is no taller than his knee. Probably had been reverted into a not more than two or three year old child with rosy chubby little cheeks. Although, his full locks of hair had him by surprised. Shouldn't a baby be… bald? Or with very little hair? That had been the case where he read in the many human books. Luckily, not all of them are trash. Than it occurred to him, could it be that, Kurosaki wasn't reverted but instead turned into? Possibly. Seems like a more reasonable reason to him.

Meanwhile, Orihime had turned to heal the Quincy… hmm… urmm… right! Ishida. The spectacle guy had turned to eye him carefully, probably worried if he would hurt his little friend. Nonsense. His job is to protect Las Noches from any threats. At the time, he was the treat, and had to be eliminated. That is why he will destroy him, even if he will die himself.

All of a sudden, a strong reiatsu appear as the three of them were about to descend down to the palace.

It was an angry Yammy. He'd grown larger.

Orihime however, wasn't even aware of that. Instead, she kept blushing at the sight of the midget-ed (A/N: not real word!) shinigami in her arms wearing only the white bandages and a piece of the cloth from his shikakusho. She never knew he could look so grumpy even while asleep especially in the 'little child' form all curled up in her arms. Ishida just *sweatdropped* at the scene. He didn't want to carry him, but letting Orihime hold him, might have been a mistake. Even if, she's all sweet and gentle. Might be a problem for 'little' Kurosaki's plumed rosy cheeks. He snickered at the thought. No. Take that back. Not a mistake made.

"Hmm… Yammy. What are you doing here?" Ulquiorra turned around.

"I came to help kill the bastard," he finally came to staring at Ulquiorra up and down. He seemed fine. Barely even a scratch after fighting the brat, "but… I guess you don't need me after all."

"True. However, Miss Orihime is the one who healed me." He said. Nonchalantly. "We must descend now" and he immediately disappeared using sonido. The other two set by going down the way they got up. As soon as all four were down at the throne room, Yammy stopped, finally realizing something. Who's the orange-haired baby there in the girl's arms?

"Oii, who's the brat?" He grapped the now squinting Ichigo by the head and held him in front Ulquiorra's gaze. Orihime was thrown off away because of the pull. The little vizard, wide eyed at the scene.

"That is Kurosaki Ichigo. He has lost a considerable amount of reiatsu." He then turned toward Aizen's garganta.

"Hnnn…?" he looked questionably at the cuarto, "Then shouldn't I just crush him?" his grip on the child's head tighten who winced at the sudden pressure.

"No."

"But didn't he say…" he really wanted his revenge on the orange head for making him look so weak by easily cutting off his arm. He really hated that. Even remembering was making him grow larger.

"Aizen-sama… said; protect Las Noches. And I did. There is no longer a threat. Do you not understand Yammy?" he gave Yammy the look he hated so much, and his grip on the child's head tighten even more. "Yammy…?" Ulquiorra called out. He knew better not to disturb the hotheaded espada when angry but then his work of protecting the palace would be crush, especially by Yammy's resurrection.

"I don't care, I've been waiting to fight all day, now I don't have to!" he burst, gripping Ichigo's head tighter,

"IYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" screamed the child in a high-pitch tone as he felt his little orange head being crushed mercilessly, he tried unsuccessfully pulling and tugging at the fingers to let go when suddenly, he had been thrown of the other's hand, and caught by Ulquiorra, "Ul…qui…" he recalled through the dizziness of being almost crushed and he clutched the espada's jacket. The espada simply looked at him before turning away and tightening his grip around the child close to his chest. Orihime had been too shocked from the start as the sudden seized of Ichigo flung her down to the corner with having been caught by Captain Unohana. Apparently, before their descend, Ishida Uruyu was asked to inform the others of the inconvenience (by Ulquiorra of course).

"Oy… didn't I say that that brat," he poked his finger through the air, pointing it towards the surprised child before removing his blue locks from his cerulean eyes, "is my pray…?" He'd jumped to the side after removing his foot from the other larger arrancar's head.

Yammy got up and lost his will all at once. Its tiring when stupid things like this turned out.

"Grimmjow… weren't you… what are y–" Ulquiorra, holding Ichigo by his waist with his back press against his chest was about to asked.

"Save it. I came to repay my debt. Zat's all…" the blue haired espada turned and looked away.

"I see." He knew to say nothing less. That captain shinigami over there must have healed him. How pitiful.

"Oh my… how…" Unohana had finally seen of what remains with Ichigo, and blushed… blushed? impossible… she turned and cleared her throat, "Excused me, it seems that what the Quincy had told us was true. But, what do you intended to do exactly?" with that, the two espada merely stare,

"Ask Aizen-sama of course," answered Ulquiorra. Grimmjow solely 'tsked' at the name, and followed the two espada (Yammy!) out the open garganta. The others except the Quincy follow suit.

End chapter 1

* * *

Phew! Sorry, not checked. I wrote this through the night and thought that this should be enough. At first, it's a two chapter. But after a while of rereading, won't that just be… boring?

Well… the hell with it! Hope ya'll like it. Tell me what you think please! by review of course!

It's okay if it's just to criticize. I would love to know what you think. After all, first fanfiction! I know. No excuse! Anyway, thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

Began April 21, finished April 22

Disclaimer: no ownie Bleach! Just be thankful for that *cue lightning.

A/N: thanks for reviewing! You guy's really made my day! Sorry I didn't have the time to reply all of you. Hope ya'll like this. I updated this early, 'cause… if I didn't, I can't follow through the next chap (you'll see why). I've tried my best. Hopefully s'good one.…R&R please?

Warning: might be some OOC-ness (you'll see why). Hope not though.

Note: this chapter mainly consists of ATTEMPTED humour. Completely non-serious.

* * *

Chapter 2

"Ugh… stop pouting will you! Just play with the doll! It ain't cheap you know!" muttered Rukia. Even her speaking was deterred. She walked off grumbling away from the grumpy 'miniature' vizard. He hated this. He really hated this. Why are they treating him like a baby? He ain't one! Well, yes technically… but not… ugh! He still remembered everything. It's not like his brain had been reset. But they're still treating like a baby. Every offensive word he said was taken as cute! What is it with these people and they're sickness for… cute? Oh…no! He ain't cute! He ain't! He ain't anywhere near cute! Bastard hollowfication… used up all of his reiatsu like that! Shrinking him! Oh the bastard! Where the hell is he now!

He sat there, all grumpy and scowling; pulling out all the stuffings out the stuff bunny Rukia bought for him. Though, he looked to be more towards the pouting side of it.

"Yare… yare…" Captain Kyoraku sitting across Urahara-san, muttered, waving off his hand. It had been awhile since the 'conclusion' of Ichigo's fate been discussed by both Yama-ji and Aizen – well, not days awhile! More like 10 minutes?–. They all just sat there, sighing, at the table in Urahara Shop. Reminiscing of how they come to this point, where a very small, very squish-able Ichigo sat at the corner with scowling and teary eyes (why is he all teary-eyed?). They hate to admit it but he seemed to be getting more adorable at the moment, and sighed at that. As said by Urahara-san, even though the memories remains, he's still a small three-year-old little child (like it or not Ichigo!), even younger than Nel was, as noted by Rukia. And needs to be taken care off, even if the bastard wouldn't admit it himself. As their thoughts escalated, they remembered how they've come to know about this. And snickered at the thought. Bastards…

* * *

*(rewind of what happened)*

"THE HELL?" all of the Bleach cast members were unable to register the information.

"Ahem… will you explain to us… again, please?" asked Captain Hitsugaya, still in his bankai, standing in the air in front of Halibel whose brow was raised.

The other shinigami merely nodded. It seemed all of Barragan and his fraccions had disappeared. Dead apparently.

Even Aizen was surprised. Nevertheless, he seemed more amused at this than ever. A 'WTF' look plastered on all the other's faces.

"May I see him?" asked Aizen, a little on the excited side of it, discontinuing his fight. Everyone had stopped as well. To be honest, they just really couldn't wait to see a shrunken Ichigo. Really, that bastard went all 'I have to save Orihime' and ended up shrunk? And still in the enemies hand? Well, most of them just grin… they won the bet. Ichigo lose! While the other half grinned pretty much the same, sending somewhat telepathic signals saying, he may have lose, but we bet him being alive! Poor Ichigo. Who knew, the only one who truly believed in him was Nel? If not, why would they set on sending others there from the start? But they're just really pissed because he ruined they're plan and got stuck somewhere in Hueco Mundo. They need him here. That is… until they heard he got himself shrunk!

"Yes, Aizen-sama." Then it occurred to them. Where is the brat? Everyone had looked around but there were no sign of Ichigo despite the slight hint of his recognisable reiatsu. Ulquiorra turned toward Grimmjow.

"Tch…" he reached out behind him, grabbed the kid by the collar-like cloth, and presented the now squirming Ichigo out for all to see. The vizard struggle in his grasp, finally free, he clambered back up behind the espada, "Oy… keh, let go of my hair! You've been on my back far too long!" he was half on top Grimmjow's head, and half grabbing what little piece of the jacket he can reach. He had to hide! He can't let anyone see him like this! It's disastrous! He's their 'hero' for god sake!

Everyone else's 'WTF' look seemed to become more apparent. Is that Kurosaki? Can't be. Right? He's… cute!

"Awwwww… how cute! The little 'I don't wanna be vizard' brat had turned into a much more little brat!" screamed Hiyori. Obvious blush of amusement crept on everyone's faces. Even captain-commander Yama-ji, turned away slightly. His clothes back on. The mini-vizard merely clutched the sexta's shirt and frown ever so slightly.

"Aww… the two of you grown attached already…?" poked Shinji. He had seen that blue headed espada before. At that, everyone else begin wondering… Why the hell is he on the back of that espada!

"Tch…!" he tried concealing his blush. But was rather unsuccessful. Who knew he had a thing with… ahem… cuteness? (Wait! Why's all the tough looking guys have a thing with cuteness?) "Bastard! Let go of me already, they've already seen you!" Grimmjow forcibly pulled the baby vizard off his back. He clutched his jacket so tightly that, when Grimmjow jerked him off, it almost went off the espada's head. Leaving his back bare for a few seconds. Quickly, dropping it back down from his face, he glared at the squirming upside-down Ichigo only to turn away at the site. Ichigo teary-eyed at him. Staring at him. Bastard knew of my weakness! He could imagined Ichigo snickering inside. He's hating the brat even more. Not only did the brat beaten him, the brat also saved him! Enough humiliation already please! Kami-sama! I'm down and humble already! Don't make me looked weak by using sick cuteness from my arched enemy! Fixing Ichigo's position, turning him away toward the others, he held him out by the pits, far away from him as possible. Not even a glanced more toward the little vizard. This is enough. Take that!

All chortlings, stopped at a sudden. Everyone was speechless. He was too cute. His brown eyes were huge and glistening, slightly covered by his oddly bright orange locks. He looked like… like… the hell with it! He's chibified!

Unable to comprehend the none-laughing reaction, Ichigo struggle to release the strong and firm grip. Only to stop when he look down. He soon found himself useless in midair. He'll just drop. At this he griped the hands tightly, closing his eyes. The ground never looked so heavenly before. He wanted down. Now.

The site of a frighten little child was too cute to bear. They almost dropped their zanpakutous. The unbearable cuteness heightens when Grimmjow noticed the struggle had stop and Ichigo scrunching up his eyes. The hell? (Much to the appreciation of fangirls!) Grimmjow brought him closer to his chest. Hey… was the word. Ichigo looked up, and buried himself in the more welcoming chest which had Grimmjow backed up a bit. Phew… He almost dropped the kid. Holding the vizard's head. Wait. Why the hell was he worried 'bout that? Damn cuteness.

"Hmm… his personality's changed." remarked Captain Hitsugaya. He's the only one, currently not showing any fangirl-ness towards the fluffy-ness made by the frowning Grimmjow (Hey! Not fluffy!)

"Aah… but he certainly remembered us. If not, he won't try too hard to hide himself from us." said Shinji. Cocking his hip to the side as he stood. Of course the brat'll be embarrass! Means, punishment time! Who told him to run off in the first place! Though, no one had told him he would end up chibified!

"Well… he could always have been this way? I mean… who would know? Has he ever taken off the scowl?" asked Yumichika. Coming in from the pillars. Ikkaku, Hisagi and Kira followed him.

"Aah… that will nev-" Ikkaku, about to say against that, was cut off by a screaming Rukia and a panting Renji.

"ICHIIIIIIGOOOOOOOOOO! Hah…!" she stepped out the Garganta taking in a large gulp of air. She stood there and just stared at the espada's back, where the baby vizard peeped out from the shoulder. Orihime, below on a building, healing everyone along with Captain Unohana, smiled to finally see another very familiar face. She can't wait to exchange costumes ideas with her. It would be fun dressing Ichigo up in all kinds of outfit. Let's see… kitty costume, bunny, oh! Princess in pink strawberry patterned gowns! Ishida can make that! She thought silently.

Behind them was the other shinigamis who had entered Hueco Mundo. Everyone seemed to be smirking, including a trying-hard-not-to-show Byakuya who closed his eyes. The only one frowning was Zaraki Kenpachi.

"Ichi got shrunk!" popped an over exited Yachiru over Kenpachi's shoulder. She turned to look around. "Haaahh!" she saw him. Wide-eyed. "Can we keep him Ken-chan!" she asked, shaking Ken-chan's unmoving shoulder. This must be the reason behind the frown.

"No. Where is he? Change him back! We're gonna fight!" he had been waiting for a second fight for far too long a time. Ichigo sank back in Grimmjow's hands from peeping over the shoulder. Nuh-uh. He ain't living with Yachiru and Kenpachi. Unfortunately, the movement only caught Kenpachi's eyes. "OII! Ichigo!" no reply. Fine. "Yachiru,… let's keep him… … until he grows back and dies by my hands!" *cue Kenpachi's evil laugh. Ichigo gulped.

"Zaraki-taichou… my sister wanted him… even though I said no, there is no exception." interrupted Byakuya. Obviously not wanting Ichigo. But, what can he say. His beloved sister wanted him.

"Ichigo! The hell are ya in blunet's arms?" asked a more than surprised Renji. His eyes wide. What the hell happened to his friend? (A/N: hmm… too many hells!)

"Err…" Grimmjow and Ichigo appeared to be wearing the same expression.

"Something's happened in the garganta…" answered Ulquiorra. "May I ask of you for everyone's convenience not to ask?" he turned to Renji. His eyes hiding a hint of annoyance stared at him blankly.

"Err… h-hai." now, that just freaked Renji out. No one ever asked anymore.

"Yes, Aizen-sama." followed Ulquiorra behind his lord. Grimmjow turned to look away. Everyone, except the captain commander and other arrancars, followed behind (they wanna make sure Ichigo's alright. Like he ever was!). Ichigo's father, Isshin, was close behind him in his shinigami uniform. Ichigo didn't think he needed to ask anything until his father's ready to tell him. If he did, it might've just break the old man's heart. In the mean time, he was in Aizen's hands. Literally.

"Remember that? Grimmjow? Each of you will take turn taking care of him, in the mean time, we, Hueco Mundo, take turns with the Soul Society. He's such a pleasant site to our colourless hallways." Ichigo's head, nodded a rhythmic nod, in the rhythm of Aizen's walking. This is making him sleepy. His knees were hook on Aizen's hand, while his body leaned back into Aizen's abdomen. Aizen's other hand held on his chest to make sure he wouldn't fall forward. It almost covered most of his own abdomen. After the annoyingly brutal arguments, this is what they (Hueco Mundo and Soul Society) had come up with as a settlement of truce? F*ck.

Meanwhile, Gin can't help hearing what he heard his captain said. "Hey… ain't it, Aizen who wanted white?" asked Gin.

"Yes. But it was to cut costs. He simply said it's just against the shinigami so the arrancars won't think their leaders almost got broke paying for uniforms. Keep it down though. Don't need any questions 'bout uniforms now." answered Tousen

"Hnnn….? Hai… hai… Kaname-chan." replied Gin. Tousen however, didn't like that. It seemed his grin had gotten wider.

"Oy! Urahara! Oooiiiiii…! I know you're in there! Open up!" the pillars had been remove. Reluctantly. So they decided to seek Urahara for making the timetables… err… study Ichigo's condition. Really. The other two smarties (in the process of the truce, Captain Kurotsuchi was asked to fix Szayel back to non-superhuman brain; so he lived to healed himself back to perfection.) just couldn't stop laughing. They apparently shared an understanding (more like misunderstandings) to not care about each other's existence at all. Although, Szayel's treasures are still coming home with Mayuri. He cursed at that and began to take a new interest (Revenge!). "Ooii! Urahara!" Rukia's voiced shrieked across the heavens.

"Oooiiiiii! What's up with all of you?" snapped back to reality. _Ooh… that wasn't the rewind._

* * *

*(Back to present)*

Rukia got up, *cue light bulb flickering, and ran off to get Kon. She came back with Kon-inhabited-Ichigo whose holding the Kon-lion-plushy. "Idea for Ichigo's toy!" everyone seemed distant, all cramped in that room, some had gone off outside. Only Ichigo's expressing temper could be heard. And, after awhile of shrieking and screaming at the blank people, which made Ichigo ran away behind Ulquiorra (those shriekings starting to freak him out), which startled the arrancar, but not enough for him to acknowledge him since he was just ignored. Finally, "Ahem… Kon, your plushy,"

"?... What's wrong nee-san?" Rukia just grabbed it, ignoring Kon's frown. He started muttering something, along the lines of; messing with his 'sexy body'.

"Hey… Ichigo!" called out Rukia. Ichigo popped up from behind Ulquiorra, taking a peep. What did she want now? "Here! Play with this why don't cha!" she threw 'Kon's body' toward Ichigo who jumped a bit. He crawled nearer.

Pissed.

He proceeded with his current abuse of stuff animals.

"NOOOOO! MY SEXY BODY!" screamed Kon.

Their put-on-hold meeting was finally ready. A large blackboard near the wall. Urahara, a 'pointing-stick' in one hand, and his fan in the other. Rukia sat down at the side facing everyone, ready with her sketchbook and crayons. Gin nodding, ready to take notes. Everyone else sat in awkward positions in the room, some, upside down. And, in the background, mini Ichigo was wrestling big-Ichigo-whose-actually-Kon for the lion plushy (its really just to abuse it even more with larger help. (A/N: Manipulative Ichigo!) Plus he seemed to be enjoying it).

"Shall we began?" asked Urahara singsongly.

"Certainly." replied Aizen, sipping his tea. Thus, the meeting began.

After various ideas and objections, Ichigo will start being taken care off by Soul Society, then by Hueco Mundo. The cycle goes on. Who exactly, is to be determined by the said parties.

End chapter 2

* * *

There…! Finally. I've tried my best. Not really sure where this is going, but have an idea. I hope this one was any better.

A/N: Ichigo's dad didn't think of bringing him home 'cause it'll just freak his sisters out.

Updated real early to ask you this, who would you want Ichigo's first babysitters (Soul Society. The second one would be someone from Hueco Mundo) to be? It's order? I have ideas for all, but none in any particular order. I'm gonna write every division. What do you think? Review please! Review's makes me happy! Even if it's only to criticize. Please answer! I want to write the next chapters before I had… every author worst fear… the writer's block! Thanks to all who reviewed!

Urahara and Yoruichi (Urahara Shop), will have their share with Ichigo as well (they're also in the Soul Society group!) Plus! The vizards!


	3. short break?

**~THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER~**

**This is only to ****compensate**** for the tardiness of 'babysitting a vizard' **

**SORRY…! I HATE HAVING TO DO THIS WHILE ONLY AT CHAP 2  
**

**GOMENNASAI~~ **

Hope you'll like them! Read and Review if you like~^-^! *eyes blinking sweetly* This is to compensate. And do note the obsessive amount of bad words…=.='''U

I had a few bad days…

Not even sure if funny at all, so read if you want to…~

So, I gave you two stories incase it's not funny… (with odd cliffhangers, 'cause I'm trying to concentrate on 'bav'.)

Disclaimer: Not own Bleach. If I do… Las Noches would be pink! (I hate pink, but I hate Aizen as well~)

Earlier warnings: each, is of a different story, and has nothing to do with 'babysitting a vizard. Have very bad language (Grimmjow and Nnoi-nnoi duhh…). Oddness. And probably major OOC. Don't read if you like, but… ^-^ ~. And sorry if too much mistakes. i don't have a beta.

I don't think they are very original as well. If they are at all alike with any other story, that is merely a coincidence since I've read too much. I call them alternate universe of 'bav'. They are not previews. They are chapters of their own. This is my rant.

* * *

STORY 1

Got this idea while musing. Sorry if no good. A bit rushed. It hasn't been thought fully 'bout yet.

Summary: Gigais… you gotta love who invented them. NOT!

Warnings: language. (Nothing yet in this chap…- if you want I could make it its own story) Beaches. Grimmjow's new pets. Survival. Strawberries. Nnoitra.

Nnoitra and Ichigo: Hey!

Kuroi: Ahem…This is merely attempted humour. There's probably nothing funny here in this chapter. Sorry if not funny.

Nnoitra and Ichigo: Don't forget to REVIEW PLEEASE! (they wanted it ^-^)

Kuroi: Yeah… what they said. If not, you'll be force to watch Nnoitra's lap dance.

Nnoitra: What's that suppose ta mean…

Kuroi: *ignoring* Ooh, I might show up if I feel like it. If you read my master's annoying rantings… you'll know, I'm her hollow. Full name Kuroi Hitomi (no family name), 'cause the bastard name me after her pet panda.

Ichigo: *sweatdropped*

Kuroi: *ignoring* I'm a shonen ai fan too. And I'm a guy. Oh, and what in the world is a Marry Sue?

Please, NO FLAME. You've been warned. Constructive criticism WELLCOME!

* * *

**BEGIN!**

"Tch"

"Grimmjow? You're slow."

"TCH!"

"…*sigh*"

"He's been that way since,"

"M…"

"What's up with the two?"

"It's just a gigai,"

'Yeah… Oii! Ulqui…"

"Trash…"

"?"

"TRASH! *mutter mutter*"

"Ulqui… Grimm, please don't be all sulky all day, just because you're wearing a…"

"Fucking gigai! Like hell I'm wearing a fucking gigai!"

"Agree… and don't call me Ulqui, Halibel-sama."

"This is merely copying shinigami, aren't we better than them!"

"I for one, prefer to better not involve myself with… trash,"

"Hmph! I hate this. It's just like those freaking shinigamis!" you can hear a light 'ooi!' in the background.

"Grimm… Ulqui… *sigh*," she shook her head, her blonde hair swing loosely over her unmasked face, "I expected this from Grimm, but -" she was cut off by Grimmjow,

"Yeah… aren't you all Aizen-sama-y all the time?"

"I don't belief I understand what you are saying, *eyes squinted* I merely follow him for preferred missions, I shall not be ridding myself with non-useable ones."

"Hnnn…?" *everyone in unison*

"? *baffled* As I recall, I didn't kill Kurosa-"

"You tried later…"

"*sigh* Can all of you stop talking for once? Its enough that we have to go to this stupid mission, and carry that shit of a shinigami with us, but…"

"*groaning* I didn't ask you to carry me you bastard! Put me down!" demanded Ichigo from off Stark's shoulder, fidgeting a bit with his tied hands. He was in his human body.

"I didn't say you can talk."

"Why is the bitch following us anyway?"

"I'm not following you, Grimmjow, why would I want to? I rather continue sleeping."

"You're rubbing off on him Stark…" *in unison, again*

"Hmmmm… perhaps I am. You have been gaining a little weight."

"Am not! Even if that's true, that's because I'm not allowed to do anything here!"

'If that's true?' Stark said quietly, not a soul heard.

"Well, what do you think this is? House of sunshine? You're traded with pet-sama! Hmm… I guess you're pet-sama now huh?" snickered Nnoitra, still covering his left eye. He's gigai has an eye, but he'll be thought as half blind, he preferred looking more creepier than that! Tesla was quickly following behind. What's up with that kid? Still that happy he tried to warn him 'bout that big old shinigami dude?

"Tch… don't you dare call me that! I'll… I'll - *mutter mutter*"

"I overpowered you! Unlike Grimm-chan here!"

"Why you…! Don't call me that!" _'that's what he's mad about? Grimm-chan?'_

"Enough. We're moving now." Halibel step into the garganta after Szayel went in and dropped a potion, the floor was quickly formed, followed by Stark and the still carried Ichigo, his head nodding up and down, following Stark's movement. '_How can that child get along so well with all of us?_' she thought to herself, glancing from time to time to the orange-headed 'child'. (Well, I wouldn't call a sixteen-year-old child, but… maybe she's that old.)

"Tch…"

"Hmmm…"

"Yeah, yeah,"

"Bitch."

"?" the two fraccion stared for a while, then "!" they quickly followed.

* * *

With nothing to do while walking in the garganta, our hero and villains walk there thinking…, well that didn't worked, and resorted to observing what each of them had on, which were:

Tesla, in a light blue patterned vacation shirt with kakis, and brown sandals, Aizen gave him a yellow-green (jungle style) hair band; he wore it over his use to be a masked forehead.

Grimmjow, wearing a bright red/orange zip-less hoodie, combat shorts, and sandals. Aizen had thrown in a large digital watch as well, _'):! Aizen's mocking my hair!'_

Ulquiorra, wearing a big black t-shirt (to his elbows) with red letterings saying 'I'm happy' finish with a big redlined smiley, and greenish blue skinny jeans. He also wore a flat grey sun hat low on his head, giving him the 'Urahara sexy eyes' look (well, I don't think he'll look sexy though!), Aizen had given him a silver bracelet, 'Aizen-sama…'

Szayel wore a pink shirt, with a purple tinted black vest on top, loosely worn, its back grey. His tie was gold or bronze in colour, not tuck. He also folded his sleeves and wearing white gloves with bronze lining and square buttons. His white lace less shoes shown under his kaki coloured pants that fitted like jeans. (hey, why do I get a gay golfer vive here?)

Ggio had on a buttoned-low white shirt, a thin black double choker, black jeans, and tiger printed shoes, Aizen gave him a black cloth cap (beret? I dunno!) that he propped on his head.

Halibel was in a large and well fitted yellow tank top with pink letterings saying 'hot babe', that have a small broach below on the side, over dark blue jeans and colourful sandals,

Yammy's in a big yellow shirt, and orange flower pattern shorts, Aizen gave him blue sunglasses, and a weird tribe-like necklace,

Stark, a green striped-thru collared t-shirt and grey-coloured shorts, with dark brown sandals; he had a few black string necklaces some with shark fangs and animals' canines Aizen given him. He was also accessorized with a squirming Ichigo on his shoulder.

Ichigo was wearing a white sleeveless hoodie over red-mandarin coloured loose t-shirt (not big) and white ¾ cargo shorts. His brown sandal almost dropping from his feat. The other in Stark's hand. Aizen gave him a somewhat leather bracelet with light engravings on it saying 'Orange Strawberries'. He had another one, worn on the same hand (his right), similar to Starks necklace, but instead of a tooth, he had brown beads on each knot. He was accessorized with a giant wolf name Stark.

After a while of adjusting their eyes, Halibell stop walking.

"Alright, hurry… where?"

"Err…"

"Didn't you hear what Aizen-sama said?"

"Errr…"

"Ulqui… you too?"

Turned to Ulqui,

"…" *blink blink*

"*groan…* I didn't listen either. How 'bout you Ichigo" she glanced toward carrot-top.

"…," *blink blink as well* "huh?"

"He's just as hopeless as Stark now."

"Hmmm… *scratch bearded chin* let's take that way then *pointing*" Stark, undeterred.

"Ya sure?" asked Grimmjow. Yawning a bit; they encircled the whole garganta but couldn't make out where to go.

"*sigh*… we better hurry, this light reiatsu mixture ain't gonna last forever, we don't want to be left dead in here now do we?" everyone stared – some, kinda hope that, "together…" added Szayel. Quickly, in unison, "Grimm!"

"Huhh?"

"You choose! You're good with gargantas! Choose!"

"Huh! No. Then you'll blame me if we're lost! Choose yourself!"

They make a quick rock-paper-scissors decision maker, and end up following Yammy's choice. And so, with a quick little splash, the garganta opened. The zipping sound, ear deafening.

"Hmm… for espadas… these guys are worthless compared to his Majesty *turned to side*," Ggio laughed to himself.

"What you say, twerp?" scowled Nnoitra. You could hear Halibell groaning.

"Ooh… nothing, nothing. But may I say, His-"

"Argh… not Barragan again. He's not here ya bitch!"

"Nnoitra-sama…"

"What!"

"Um… watch-"

Nnoitra, stepping back, "Hic?" lost footing, "HYYAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHH…!" and just barely hanging by his shoe on a tree, "Say that sooner Tesla!"

'Hmm… how the two fraccion could love their master so much is beyond the mind's capable thinking.' Thought Grimm as he walked towards the opening.

"Quickly!" called Szayel, "this doesn't last long, since these stupid gigais on, you'll drop in no time,"

Halibell step out, hopping to the ground below along with all the others. Luckily, although the gigais were a pain in the ass when it came to their abilities, it didn't happen to disturbed their strength and muscle. They observed their surroundings. The garganta quickly closed behind.

"Is everyone here?" Halibell, doing a head count.

"More importantly, where is here?" Stark asked sleepily. Everyone gulped. They were about to turned to Szayel when,

"Shit! SHHHIIIITTTTTT! Nnoitra you bastard!" said Szayel as he quickly got up. Nnoi-noi-sama had apparently chosen a landing spot, as he fell out of his shoe.

"Ooww…*rubbing head* that sucks *and back*"

"You…*ji~n… ji~n*"

"What?"

"The potion dammit! You broke it!"

"WHAAATTT!" everyone turned around.

"Hmmm… it's a little too late for that." said Stark as he lifted his hand and tilted his shoulder, *THUD*

"OWW!" Ichigo fell on the sandy floor.

"Hmm, back to the picture, where is here…?"

**END!**

* * *

STORY 2 

Summary: Grimmjow, sent to the human world with Ulquiorra to make a note of truce to Ichigo, was surprised by… he had kittens? TWO! Wha..? And their mommies are… wait! MOMMIES?

A/N: this is the first fic I ever wrote, but never let anyone read. There's some BL implications here, if you don't like them, don't read. (but not really, more to a joke side, and no pairings – well, I dunno, read it!^-^)

Note: this is after the winter war; Aizen and SS made a truce (since everyone's so equally match they started getting bored, INCLUDING KENPACHI! so they all just mine their own business and begin with their lives like nothing ever happen oh! and Aizen's not after the Ouken anymore – since it's meaningless that nobody cared *muahahahahaha!*)

Rated for language and unexpected marriage. Two… actu – one re – … wait! How can you say it when there are two male wives and one unsuspected husband!

NO FLAMES PLEASE! If you don't like it, don't review, and please wait for chap 3. Coming soon~~ ^-^

* * *

**BEGIN**

He was wandering around in the streets of Karakura Town where he began feeling regretful for not annoying Aizen just a little bit more, merely so he could either be killed by Kyoka Suigetsu just to not have to do this or be turned back into a menos would have been better – at least no one would remember him, FUCK! ANYTHING in fact, ANYTHING would definitely be better than this, PLEASE! JUST ANYTHING! _Fuck, turned me into a girl for Hueco Mundo's sake!_ err… take that back… anything but that also, just anything please… but not some fucking fuzzy adorable animal too! That's just too low... he ain't anywhere near cute. Not cute. Definitely not. Even if the world of Hueco Mundo burned to crisp and he lost his precious tail, he ain't cute.

AAAAAAAAHH…..! Fucking fangirls! Don't fucking twist bleach reality!

He cursed under his breath, 'shit, where the hell did that bastard of an espada go!' he turned at the corner, 'shitty gi-thing…' His gigai tugging at his speed. Why on earth would he have to wear a fucking gigai for? That freak of a shinigami can definitely see him! Oh yeah… that… as the exact words of that fakey crying bastard go, "It's to show we mean no harm in our meeting and only to state our apology; that is why…" and blah blah blah…. yeah… fucking stuck up butt kisser. _That is why our gigai had been made to reduce our arrancar abilities to that of a simple… 'ahem?' human_. Whatever. Load of crap. Could've sworn he meant to say trash. Butt kissing bastard.

Ever since that day… hell yeah! Since that fucking day, they (Aizen and shinigami) had decided to have a truce and live happily… err, together? Bullshit alright. Plus, why wait this fucking long for this 'apologies for the inconvenience' crap?

He's still toying the Hougyouku around testing things… what is he testing it on anyway? New arrancar army? He should. Probably… nah! Complicating stuff! Easier said, everyone except him, Ulqui, Halibel – odd, thought he'd kill her, turns out just fucking goofing around –, Stark, Nnoitra – bastard Nnoi-noi who tried to kill him, Szayel, _even him? That weirdo gay prick who's what? Friends with the fucking Nnoi-noi? _One, and another fraccion. And that fat guy? Err… Yammy? Is alive. Who would have thought? Fat guy's a zero. 'Surely… I'm the only one sane', his thoughts put on hold, as the sudden feel of being tailed nudge on him, 'crap… I've been minding my thoughts for too long. Fucking gigai! It even reduce my senses! I can't fight like this… crap' at the thought of that, he just realize how fucking self-pity and with a low self-esteemed he had been since the time he lost to that freak of a shinigami, shit.

He's not happy with all this humbleness in him. Not that he'll ever forever will show anyone of this insecurity though.

He fought on par with the guy. And… wasn't he killed by that bastard Ulqui-butt-kisser as well… damn it. And, he got back up in his hollow form, almost obliterating _him_. Damn it. Both of them are his rivals, his arch nemesis but compare to the both of them, he just felt like a living joke. The only reason Ulquiorra didn't die was because of that chick, Orihime's ability. She literally healed him, right before he turned fully to ashes! Thanks to that spectacles guy – note – sarcasm.

He mean, when freaky shinigami ain't a hollow, he'll die by Ulquiorra's hands, and when he is, Ulquiorra'll die by his hands, somehow… he felt nowhere near the two… near… maybe…

Shit! Shit! Shit! 'Get that thought out of your head Grimmjow! Don't… OW!' he didn't realize he was walking really fast and didn't look at where he was going… wait.

Why was he walking fast? Oh yeah, he's been tailed. He's so absorb in his thoughts that he didn't even want to turn around and look at the guy. Not that he's scared, just that it's a waste of good fucking time. Plus, he's in the human world. Even with his reduced abilities – hey! Confident booster! – not that he needed one or anything… 'Shit! Shit! Shit! Stop getting fucking absorbed in thoughts baka!' he shook his head wildly before turning around when he felt a tug on his jeans (note: in gigai) and froze, "Wha… the hell?"

Looking down to the back of his right, stood a little kid with bright orange hair tugging on his side pocket. He stood, barely half the height of Grimmjow's thigh, 'a four year old?', staring up at him with googly big bright blue eyes, _interesting__ colour__ scheme, don't you think that's one hell of a sunny side up kid?_ Snapping Grimmjow out of his gaze the kid spoke; "Daddy… I'm tired… stop walking too fast," with a pout on his mouth signaling to be carried. His eyes were adorably triangular and grumpy similar to Ichigo's, except with a crybaby scent – wait! He did not just think that! That freak's ain't cute! Definitely. _Wait, I said eyes. Not… wait. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE!_

"Wha…?" he shook at his thoughts as the tugging become more impetuous.

"DADDY!" immediately, everyone's eyes turned towards them. Some blushed at the thought of how cute he looked as a father. _Wha…?_

"Argh, dammit, I'm not your… err… err… *sigh*" he sighed as he swallowed his words in fear of being charge for child abuse by the glaring eyes. Swiping off some blue hair out his eyes. He had enough problems already… "Ugh… FINE!" he grabbed the kid by the waist, and hoisted him up on his back when the glaring widen.

"YAAAY…!" the kid rapped his small arms around Grimmjow's neck and hugged it tightly, making the blue haired espada frown as his breathing becomes difficult, while his knees hooked on under Grimmjow's arms (A/N: I'm bad at describing, try remembering how Ichigo carried Keigo in the Bountos Arc). Face red, Grimmjow dash across the sidewalk towards Ichigo's neighbourhood – at least, he thinks it's his neighbourhood; he hadn't been here for a while.

* * *

Meanwhile,

In the corners of Karakura Town's neighbourhood where Ichigo lived, stood two figures beneath the scorching hot afternoon sun,

"Where the hell is he…?" sounded a grumpy voice. He moved his hand over his head, swiping the sweat collected on his bright orange locks.

"He's probably lost… again." replied a pale figure in complete white, "The gigai probably be at fault with that. After all, it reduces his sensing abilities." The orange haired shinigami could've sworn that the pale arrancar muttered something like – _not like he has any in the first place_, or something like that. Then a certain annoyed yelling caught his eyes.

"MOMMY! Why are we still standing here? It's really hot… MOMMYYYY!" a kid swinging on the arm – literally; swinging – of the almost expressionless arrancar, if not for the very annoyed tint in his eyes, "I'm tired mommy!"

"Mommy…?" snickered the orange head before abruptly burst into a fit of laughter x giggles. Upon watching and analyzing the small figure on Ulquiorra's side through gasp of air, he notice that the little kid had really black raven locks, and an almost white, no not Englishmen white, but literally, almost pearl white skin. What's missing is the green tear stripe and masked, but what brought to light the impetuous fit of giggles _is_ the bright almost cyan blue eye colour very similar to that of… "Don't tell me that Grimm-kitty knock you up?" he finally let out through a breath of air.

"Hmm…" at that, the pale quarto's merely narrowed his eyes carefully on the figure, "I came hear to note an apology, and I can take it back whenever I want to and f…"

"OOOOOOOIIIII! ULQUI…'smack'" a feet rose to the sexta's face. "Shit! What the fuck is that f 'smack'" another foot rose. "Hnnn…" Grimmjow merely 'hned' silently. Holding his bleeding nose.

"Watch your language, as I see you have a kid strapped on your shoulder." Ulquiorra noted the boy that is now on Grimmjow's shoulder, hugging his head and scrunching his hair. Seemingly peaceful at sleep, drool begin dripping down the side of Grimmjow's forehead, "ugh… disgusting…" he turned away.

"Tch… sorry. Can't seem to find the way to get here, and WHY DID YOU SONIDOED OFF? No, no, no, no, WHY AREN'T YOU IN A FREAKIN' GIGAI FOR AIZEN'S SAKE! 'smack' hnnn…" he bit a growl at the hit and trying hard not to just tackle the man.

"I believe you must know I do not need controlling. Plus, I'm not as stupid to not have learned how to get out of a -stupid- gigai," he muttered the last sentence down.

"Baaassstar–" his retort was cut short when Ichigo cleared his voiced in an annoyed manner.

"Ahem… forgetting something here? Does truce rang a bell? And what is up with you arrancars or is it just the espada or you two as a matter of fact with carrying babies around along with them?" he said while tapping his foot angrily. As Grimmjow about to sneered and snapped a retort, the weight on his shoulder suddenly lifted and jumped before propelling himself toward the annoyed vizard. "WHA…AAARRG?" the vizard dropped bum first head next to the ground, as the weight clambered on his chess.

"MOMMY!" everyone wide eyed at that statement, but as soon as someone began to voice out, another interruption occur. The one swinging and tugging on Ulquiorra's hand, suddenly jumped and attacked the poor flailing blue-haired espada.

"DADDY!" he turned to his supposedly called 'mommy' and asked "Right mommy!" just as the other kid screamed,

"DADDY! MOMMY!" tugging the dizzily released-from-muffle-orange-haired-mommy of the ground, dragging him to 'daddy'.

"Huh?" was all Grimmjow able to say as the raven-haired boy pull him forward towards 'his mommy'. He turned to look at the other bright lightly tanned kid. Both staring at each other in expression none could explain before saying…

"BROTHERS!"

Grimmjow was left fainting, while Ulquiorra struggle to compose himself, and Ichigo still can't absorbed that information into his head. The two still aware of the surrounding, perked up, as a familiar red blur came into view,

"Oi! You two sharing a hubby!" shouted the blur, along with two other distinctive blurs. A brown-haired girl and a petite raven-haired came smirking, but the picture suddenly disappeared into blank darkness as the two joined the blue-haired father of two.

**END** (I'm sorry, hadn't continue it ever since I wrote 'bav', and can't remember what was it I was thinking… ^-^'''U)

* * *

_**Hope you like them~~!**_

I hadn't had the time to think about chap 3, and these came up along the way… *sweatdropped*

I wrote the baby/daddy/mommy a long time ago before 'bav', and the gigai/Ichigo in return for Orihime one, more recently, while I was bashing around in my computer~~

They have no names… yet. I'll came up with them if I must.

Then, I didn't have time to update them… GOMENNASAI~~~

And I've recently acquired a **TinierMe** account~~! My name there is Uteki. Add me as friend if you have one. **Uteki** means raindrops… it's been raining lately…=.='''U

Review if you like them…!

That'll be nice~

And do review nicely and wait for chapter three~~

**Do you think I should delete this after I finish chap three?**

**Or just leave it here? Pleeeease tell! ^-^, 'cause, if I'm too lazy, I'll just leave it here, and please also tell me if you want them to be their own stories~~x)**

**I'll try to manage them if you do ^-^!**


	4. Chapter 3 THE REAL ONE!

Began; February 28, 2012. Done; March 1, 2012.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously, if Bleach were mine, I'd have Ichigo shrunk anytime! XD nyahaha~ (really, is this really necessary on every chapter?)

A/N: Yup, this is a real chapter 3. Grraaaaahhhh… so much have happened in the last one and a half years. I was pretty immature (being pissed off beyond repair) I decided to switch schools …and ended up going to boarding school instead. Ahahaha =='''' (apparently, everything related to computers and phones are not allowed there) … I had to kick myself from procrastinating when I've finally finished last December. (Yup. I've grown fat, so my kicking ain't as powerful as it used to be)

Sorry in advance if it lacks characters. I can't remember HALF the character in Bleach nowadays. I'm looking everyone up in wiki, and had started to continue where I left off in the anime.

I'm not sure if this is going to be good or not, I've lost a bit of interest in Bleach when I saw Gin died (I've stopped watching bleach since then… haha – still reading it though). But, I still wanna love it.. .!

Alright, enough of my looooooooooong authors note (not sure if you even read this anyway==;), on with the story!

Extra note: I hadn't chosen the first babysitter yet, since… well… EACH and EVERYONE…DDDDD: ….had a different answer for it (who'd have thought, nyaha). I think I'd just type down all the possibilities and shut my eyes while throwing my finger onto the computer screen. There's a poll in my profile, pick whoever you want^^~*. PS: **I had to reupdate this a few times, bcoz it kept missing some words. Again. ==''' tho, might not be important anyway.**

There's some attempt at a real plot here (still with my attempted humour), so and so. Hope you'll still enjoy~3

I still dun have a beta. D:

* * *

Chapter 3 (yup, the real one)

His breath hitched, his knees _almost_ buckled. What do they want now? Holding Kon's abused '_sexy body'_ as tightly as he possibly could (being the same size as he was, it might make a good shield), he looked up at his captors with tears threatening to spill from his eyes. _The hell?_ They had ripped him off away from Kon-invaded-_him_ earlier (with him, marked as the victor for the lion plushy); and had placed him neatly onto the kotatsu. Now, they're just staring at him… irritatingly, might he add. He could hear mentions of new 'clothes' for him. How he hope it won't be some kind of costume *twitching eyebrows*.

Lips protruding upwards in an attempt to scowl, he almost whimpered at the perturbing aura building up. Their evil smiles making him squeaked. _ What are they planning?_

Turning around to escape, he felt the cloth covering him tightened, as he was then lifted a foot into the air. _Gasp_… he tried to 'swim' for his life.

"Now, now, Kurosaki-_chan_," said Urahara-san; his 'evil' smiling gaze, boring deep into Ichigo's petrified little soul, "You'll need better clothes than _this_" he shook him as an emphasis "to wear." _Why can't they just buy some! Why this? _Urahara-san then proceeded to pin his tiny hands onto the table, discarding the stuff animal to side so his size could be measured properly. Somewhere in the room, we could hear a quiet "Hey!" from the Kon-inhabitted-Ichigo. Ishida then came into view. This only freaked him out even more. (A/N: he's only freaking out more coz he saw Ishida?:D)

"Sit still while I take your measurements, Kurosaki." F*ck. Ishida took out his measuring tape, straitening it in with a _snap_. Struggling even harder, he shook his head furiously; just downright rejecting the sole idea. In no way in hell is he wearing anything that that freak made! He'd rather stuck with these… pieces of his own shihakusho; …his proof of battle as a matter of fact!

As Inoue and Rukia huddled together with the girls, obviously discussing a design for him, "I agree with that on Berry-tan!", he could see the espadas gleamed in agreement/pure delight. Not good; especially when even the corners of Ulquiorra's mouth started to twitch upwards.

"Now, now Kurosaki…" repeating Urahara-san; Ishida came closer, he trashed harder. Glancing around the room for help, the others mainly snickered at him. He swore he could see stars twinkling in their eyes. He jolted after seeing a chance of exit, finally freeing himself; he jumped, ran, and scrambled, over the floor and everyone's heads, and scurrying… right …into Chado's hands. *sweatdropped*

"I'm… sorry. Ichigo." Was what he said.

"…" *some blinking*

"IyaaaaaaaaaaaAAA!" _Where the hell is that bastard hollow guy when he needed him! It's not fair! He wanna switch places dammit!_

Aizen and co. left, with Grimmjow picking at his ears, leaving the shinigamis and humans to their own expenses.

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

Strong winds breezing nonchalantly with a tease of mirth. They blew across the vast desert of Hueco Mundo with _grace_ while the sand glistened of victory under the only source of light, the weird-looking moon. Hushed whispers lurked beneath the shadows, importing and exporting information as they were at it. All hollows were still in hiding, but not from fear of being eaten, but more from fear of being caught laughing their heads off.

After all; news travels fast in Hueco Mundo. They just couldn't believe it was true.

As the wind gushed forth, over and above Las Noches, a clank sound of metal declared its presents.

It winked innocently under the light of the distorted moon.

Lone from being forgotten; waiting patiently for its wielder to grasp at its hilt on top of the deserted dome of Las Noches.

…

…

….

"_hitchih_…" he pulled his face close to the head of raven locks, and wiped his nose with it.

"*gloom*" he stilled.

"*blink blink*" _oops_.

"G-grrruuuuuuAAAAaaaAAAAaahhhh!" he yank the snowy blur off his face. Rage and annoyance clearly etched into his young features, "get off me you fool!" he spat, running his fingers through his jagged fringe, pulling away some sticky stuff, all the while scowling. "Don't sneeze into people's hair dammit!" His pale blue eyes were seething with aggravation. Flicking the blur off his right hand to the next window, "And stop climbing me! I'm not a scratching post!" he sighed, looking at the pasty blur as if it were a deranged form of a stray cat trying to play. (A/N: sorry for the cat reference==; …note: I have 7 cats)

The colourless blur mainly rolled around on the floor. First, he rolled to his left, then to his right, then making a circle as if he were breakdancing, as he whined and trashed. "What rights do you have to act this way anyway? It's your own damn fault!" he crossed his arms over his chest, and with a _hmph_, "No matter how much you complained, it's impossible to see _him_!" he uttered.

"B…but…" his golden on black irises stared up at the elder, as he rubbed away at his tears, "Tensa-chaaaaAAAAaaaannnN!" Tensa Zangetsu grimaced at the lisp in the other's speech. He'll ignore that for the moment. Being in his bankai state, as Ichigo had him during the moment, the little child decided to call him Tensa. _Well… at least he tried adding honourifics…_ *sweatdropped*.

Shiro, as he preferred calling the hollow that _for now_, merely continued on his rampant tantrum. Sniffling every now and then on the wall of the topsy-turvy building, mumbling how if he didn't do what he did, his king would have died already, and as he rolled over atop a closed window, he also stated the fact that he had promised he'd take over if his king were to ever fail (at living). _Sigh…_

He glanced around, noting the changes in his environment. Everything… seems, lax… for now. No more rain, and no more dark clouds up ahead. Though he still can't be sure, he just couldn't help but smile to himself quietly, wondering how his wielder is currently doing. _'I wonder if he's close…'_

A frown then touched at his brows when he felt '_something'_ tugged at his leg. _Argh…_

Looking down to his foot, he tilted his black covered head to the right. _What does he want now?_

Googly gold stared up at him, "Tensa-chan…" he called up to him.

Eyebrows knitted together as he muttered a "What?"

"King's seems happy…" the little child dressed in a somewhat makeshift uniform; stated.

"Yeah." he averted his eyes, staring up into the vertical moving clouds.

The pasty child then mainly snuggled into his leg, mumbling a soft: "_that's good_" into it.

Squatting downwards, the teenage form zanpakuto spirit ruffled the little one's hair, a smile tugging at his lips. He wondered how Ichigo was doing seeing as after the fight with Ulquiorra, this snowy guy seemed to have shrunken himself. He assumed he did it on purpose, so that Ichigo could live with the lack of reiatsu. Maybe Ichigo was shrunk himself right now… Sighing again…

He couldn't feel his reiatsu. Ichigo's.

At least, not anywhere near.

* * *

_About seventy-two minutes and some seconds later…_

Hueco Mundo.

"My deepest apologies Aizen-sama…" eyes decorated with green tears streaming done his cheeks didn't dare looking upwards, declared in monotone.

"…" kicking rubble.

"My deepest apologies Aizen-sama" he repeated, staring after his sweat-dropping lord, who stared (solemnly) upon his surroundings.

"…" everyone averted their gazes.

A quiet "#$%&" could be heard.

"…" *wide eyes*, someone gulped. We could hear a Gin's "My my…" in the background.

"Well," *insert scary Aizen-smile here, "lets began repairing then." Eyes closed. "After all…

"…we can't have a child running around in such a _dangerous_ place now could we?" (A/N: _teehee_~)

* * *

_Back in the human world,_

…as the birds chirp around gleefully late in the day, we could still hear a distinct "Iyada!" and an "Ow! Get back here Kurosaki!", also a "Ku-… Kurosaki-kun!" and of course, not forgetting an "Ichigo! You can't run around like that!"

_Hueco Mundo (zanpakuto inner world)…_

"Ni shi shi…. I sense King is in trouble…" as he tugged at Tensa-san's hair.

"…"

"Ufufufufu…" _tug_… _tug_…

"Let go dammit!"

* * *

_Now back in the Urahara Shop…_

"_Hat-chu_!" His orange brows knitted together as a sneeze broke through his nose while his body lost balance from the window sill.

"I GOT HIM!" *kicked on the face… "ARGH!"

* * *

_Approximately some time later…_

Somewhere within Las Noches, a voice was heard saying: "Can you pass me the plaster Ulquiorra?"

Wiping his sticky blue tresses off his face, he reached his hand down towards _him_.

"…" *_passing_.

The green-eyed espada watched his subordinate continue to patch up the broken blue sky.

"…"

He's still continuing…

"…"

_'Lucky~…'_

"…"

Oh… he stopped.

"…"

He saw him threw the scraper to the side; veins started to throbbed.

"…"

He heard an "Oof!" coming from a giant spoon a few stories below some seconds later.

…

"WHY THE HELL AM I THE ONE DOING THIS YOU PRICK!"

'_tched_…' glaring his melancholic green eyes upwards, he knew he couldn't get away with it. Who knew it would end so soon?

Unbeknownst to them both, somewhere above the bickering duo, a zanpakuto sighed.

* * *

(A/N: Alright, I think I'mma add somethin' extra…)

_A few days later…_

Waiting in front of the dangai gate, all residents of seretei wait in eagerness, as their minified _hero_ was about to be taken in as prior agreement.

"Aahh… and I were just starting to miss him…" sighed a feathered man.

"Ohh… shut the hell up…" a vein throbbed above his eyebrows, "Really… how can I fight him in _that_ state?" his shiny head shined brightly under the warm sunlight.

"Where is he? WHERE IS HE!"

"The gate is about to be opened…"

"*_sigh_…*"

And in he stepped out; all by himself. A fierce expression marked his adorable features. Fire seemed to float around his shoulders. Yeah right… Urahara still tailed behind him. *sweat dropped*

Hmph. Gotta give him credit; guessed he still had pride as a _former_ grown man.

Though…

"What the hell is he wearing?" everyone queried.

"KyaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAA~~!"

* * *

Ugguaaaaaaahhhhh! I'm finaly done! So many interruptions occurred when I was writing this!DDDDDD'x( Really… phew.

Well, I've tried my best. I hope you'll still like it. Please review!DDD:! *blinking eyes as sweetly as possible* Reading your reviews made me wanna type this out!

Umm… I'll give you some cheesecake? Oh! And extra blueberries for voters~ !

**Some questions from me:**

Alright, now, I wonder if you noticed the plot mentioned. What do think was important to take notice in here?

Did my writing style change? Do I even have one? DDD:? I've been writing too much death scenes lately in school, so it's getting a bit difficult to get back to crack.

Also, Ulquiorra 'tch'? I find it possible! (only not outloud!)

What do you think of it? I hadn't really reread this properly. Is it too short? I've tried compairing the length with the first chapter. Phew… it's a bit longer (by a page, minus the 'A/N') though.

Do you still want me to continue? I missed writing something fun. And with enough encouragements, I might continue this. *tears~*

SORRY FOR TOO MUCH TALKING… gruaaaahhhhh! *shot.


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